I’m Back!
Howdy! It is good to feel compelled to write again. I took a much longer summer and fall break than expected. While I would like to claim my break was solely to spend time with family and friends, to rejuvenate, read and digest podcasts, consider how we’ve gotten such a divisive place as a nation—all of which are true—my lack of writing was really to allow myself to wrestle with the anger that I began to feel. Perhaps you have felt similar anger during this chaotic season of our lives. So, this blog is a bit different, it is about an emotion that can consume and destroy, that often stands obstructing our path to practice values that last.
So how and why did I get detoured? Since I write for you and I, rather than for money or on a defined schedule, I knew I needed to recenter a bit as my frustration—anger really—grew at what I saw surrounding us each day. I was angry at the decay in values, at OTHER people being angry and disrespectful, and I was especially angry at the intellectual dishonesty and raw desire for power to elevate self rather than serve others. When reading one day I was challenged to refocus and recognized that my growing anger was taking me to a place I did not want to go. Just as I believe, or perhaps merely hope, that many participants in the Capital Riot on January 6, 2021 would never have imagined joining in fighting and beating police officers doing their jobs defending the Capital and our representatives inside.
The moral challenges we face are unchanged today and they have been present since the beginning of time. I believed that my response to what I see needed to change. Importantly, I needed to immerse myself less into the heart of issues that have become more focused on emotions than logic; more on what we wish were true rather than what the facts tell us is true. The idea that different sides of an argument have different “facts” and data from both real and imagined sources is something I still don’t accept and continue to struggle with.
Foundational Teachings
As I have always highlighted direction from the Bible and other religious texts regarding our topics, it is worthwhile to do so again when the subject is anger, a passion to control lest we become uncontrollable. It is what caused me to take a hard look in the mirror to see that I needed to change.
In the New Testament James instructs “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” We are to resist anger or find ourselves unable to produce the very righteousness we seek when trying to live a life that exemplifies lasting worth and value. A passage on wisdom from Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament simply calls those of us who harbor anger “fools” in the proverb “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
The Quran: Surah Al-e-Imran, Ayat 134 teaches that “Allah loves the good doers” whose description includes “those who donate in prosperity and adversity, control their anger, and pardon others.” An article on aboutislam.net Altaf Husain provides guidance to current Muslims on the need to manage anger. He writes “The height of self-restraint, of course, is not to get angry to begin with. This is enjoined upon us by Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) in the following hadith: A man said to the Prophet, “Advise me!” The Prophet said, “Do not get angry.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said each time, “Do not get angry.” (Al-Bukhari)”
The Buddha taught about the dangers of anger. Among several quotes on anger attributed to Buddha we find “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned;” “As soon as we become angry in a dispute, we leave the path of truth and start trying for ourselves” (Gautam Buddha), and finally “You are the first victim of your anger.”
It is clear to me that every major religion and belief system instructs us to manage and control our anger when we truly pursue righteousness and even our own emotional and mental health. Because anger is a human emotion inherent in each of us, it is not a struggle to eliminate anger, but one to respond to anger appropriately. Sometimes that means we must step away from an environment or task that fuels our anger and toward something more positive until such a time we can more effectively control our anger.
Trying to write well, with accurate information from a neutral political position, resulted in my becoming too immersed in trying to sort through information to decipher what is true or accurate to the best of my knowledge and that which is untrue or currently lacks supporting information. In doing that work I became a bit too close to the “fire” and anger. Where are you at today? If you have become consumed by anger, whether at the never ending and always changing COVID-19 pandemic, your boss at work, people who do not agree with some (or all) of your political beliefs, or who are simply have different backgrounds and origins from you, perhaps you need to join me in stepping away and regrouping.
What about “Righteous” Anger?
While I believe there is a place for righteous anger—there is certainly the classic example of Jesus’ righteous anger at the money changers and those profiting from believers at the Temple (Matthew 21:12-13)—I also believe that being consumed by anger and frustration leads to loss of joy, influence, relationships, health and more. Jesus was not consumed by his anger. Immediately after cleansing the temple he healed the blind and lame who came to him that same day in the same temple (Matthew 21:14). These were acts of love and service to others rather than action to pursue and further punish those he removed and profited from the money changers. His righteous anger was present not to “win” and gain power on earth, but to enable him to serve those around him in need. Jesus’ example here illustrates that our anger—my anger—must be transitory, focused on fighting or opposing wrong, and lead to serving others.
My Response
While I still feel a responsibility and desire to exchange thoughts and encourage values-based living, I need to find the balance that enables me to write and maintain the joy and relationships that I hold most dear. So, I will write again, but less frequently. Rather than being an angry grump I’ll try and follow the lead of my wife. While I was getting mad, she was showing me the way by helping others. From delivering food to refugee families arriving in Houston to working to support children who are placed in the court system to determine home placement due to some family disruptions and challenges.
If you want or need to join me in stepping back from activities that fuel your anger, make a New Years resolution to do so. Replace negative activities with positive ones and commit to helping or serving someone else less fortunate than you or someone who simply needs a hand. Serving others, as Susan and so many of you do, is the value that lasts.
Clint Connell preparing to ride a tube with a friend as part of the “Skiin’ with the Galilean” team.
4 thoughts on “Anger, a Consuming and Deadly Emotion”
Thank you Tim…so so helpful to hear your words on this. Many of us are also thrashing these political and personal currents in order to keep our head up, calm and moving forward despite events here and worldwide threatening to pull us down. Consume us. Do we need to be concerned with China or democracy and 2024 elections here or an ongoing pandemic? Of course. However your observation, study and recommendation helped sort my own thought, see I’m not alone and set a positive way forward. Serving others, and making my little piece of the world better. I can do that. Keeping it positive and upbeat. Awesome post…much appreciated.
Great insight. We do have a responsibility to confront difficult challenges in front of us as you describe, without losing the essence of who we are or why we wish to create a better place for our families and communities. Thanks for adding to the discussion!
Sir: As always, your messages are timely, instructive, and healing. You know at least part of my journey, and while I generally can put on an optimistic external “face”, I struggle with emotions like anger (and a few others) internally. Of the MANY things I miss about our time together, one that I probably miss most is your ability to know when to “take a step back”, and patiently think through our challenges with a broad perspective. Know that you continue to do that for me, whether it’s through posts like these, or simply memories of those times we shared. As I continue to grow and learn, I will continue to lean on your words and positive influence. Happy New Year!
Ed, thanks. I agree, the best journey’s are shared. I too am glad we have journeyed together–I’ve certainly benefited from it. Sometimes I must pinch myself when I think of all the individuals I’ve come in contact with–older, younger, from all walks of life–who I’ve learned from and made life better!